i was walking with a ghost.

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:52:43 GMT

hurt

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:47:26 GMT

meuugh :(
i am fed up.

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 09:12:26 GMT

I'm back. Maybe in a big way who knows. Probably not, just feel I need somewhere to splurge again for a while. It's hard being back home, I miss Sheffield and the girls and feeling like I've actually got strong relationships again.
Plus at the moment I feel a bit resentful, a bit sad and generally melancholy; I'm constantly tired and feeling worn down.
I think I need a few good nights out.
I know I need a job.
And I desperately want a holiday.
Going away with Sam for a bit this week though which will be nice.♥ Then back to this very unproductive job hunt.
My mum's home today and I'm glad.

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 02:27:19 GMT

rewind

Sat, 12 May 2007 09:21:56 GMT

gdhgdgg

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 12:44:00 GMT

i needed that.

i'm pretty worn out from the past weeks.

friendship. i love the ones that come naturally.

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 00:38:35 GMT

why do i actually want that?

and i desperately do. a lack of self control perhaps.

craving something new to drag me back to my feet.

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 22:50:35 GMT

second best?lol

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 00:13:29 GMT

i've been so frustrated of late, with pretty much everything. i can't do what i want cause here's always something or someone in the way. allow angsty updates but argggh. need a new start. i've lost any originality, passion or general sense of self i had.

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 01:11:52 GMT

i can't sleep anymore.
not at my house anyway.

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 00:19:12 GMT

just cause you're out of sight you're no way out of mind. i miss you girls.

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 23:24:36 GMT

2006:

sharing beds
lack of sleep
deep conversation
little confidence
ibiza 06
too much food
amazing easter
revelations
needing my mum
edge
a levels
being able to drive
the summer pact
forgetting things
loss of interest
end of school
boyfriends
reading festival
anya
not enough gigs
manchester
car crash
close friends
new perspectives
shorts
laziness
yates'
red nail varnish
booze
animal print
big brother
rachel's uni trip
wanting more
not going to uni
peaches
weight loss schemes
appreciation
fez
london pub crawls
did we go to amnesia?
purple
thunderflies
summer walks
house parties
totally loving my friends
missing people
cooking food
raving
cider black
4:10 train
work experience
mullets
primark
actually revising a little
taruns
long trip to leeds
18th birthdays
mixtapes
quest for reading tickets
private jokes
marker pen scrawls
dixy chicken
new rave
mcgubbins
broken social scene
awoaaaaaah
gold necklaces
cigarette burns
arctic monkeys band in davids car
turning 18
luton town football club
allowing msn
nights with bob
short lived crushes
tanning moisturiser
summer ball
river drinking
picnics
new people
vomit
koko
the ibiza drink mix
bob dylan tshirt and crosswords
fry ups in reading
drama
rubbish shopping trips
inspiration
rock and roll

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:41:48 GMT

empathy?

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 18:07:55 GMT

terrible, terrible, terrible. i hope she's okay.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 00:40:35 GMT

nostalgia.

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 12:59:57 GMT

internet attack!

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 22:14:32 GMT

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 07:55:40 GMT

you don't know how much i wish i'd gone to uni this year.

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 22:53:38 GMT

i wish i was one of those skinny girls that could wear baggy clothes that hang off you and still look hot.

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 11:04:39 GMT

at the moment i have to fill my days with things that don't really cost money/cost much. it's alright really, picnics and river trips, friends gardens and sleepovers, glens vodka and lambrini. it's so five years ago but there's no problem with that cause we're having fun and that's what matters.
and with ibiza in thirteen days i've got further to go with my diet and need to have not asked my mum for too much money so she lends me more spending money. it's awful that i have to ask her for all of it, but on a selfish note, i'm so glad i don't have a job this summer, it would ruin it so much.
hopefully tomorrow we'll go to eversholt for a swim, it's outdoor and fun!

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 16:02:41 GMT

i'm scared for the upcoming months! everything might change, everything will be different soon but i have absolutely no idea what is going to happen, unless i take a gap year in which case very little will change. but the uncertainty i find rather unsettling.
i am enjoying the moment though, the lack of responsibilities is good and i have a number of things to look forward to: ibiza, birthday, reading.
the gay thing at the moment is the total and utter lack of money meaning i can't see my jenny and jade like i'd like to. not seeing jade in three months just isn't right, it's a weird feeling actually, we're going to have a lot of catching up to do!
all i'm doing at the moment is running up debts with ellie and seeing her, bobby and gary. we don't do much but it's nice to have a group of people that you can just relax with.
today i can't make conversation cause i lose my place and forget what i'm saying. i'm really tired.

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 09:59:33 GMT

ew! i have let myself put on so much weight and it sucks. so as of NOW i am going on a reasonably strict diet because i have prom in 2 weeks and ibiza in a month and a bit. i need to get rid of my stomach, it's actually huge.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 20:19:29 GMT

LIVEJOURNAL MAKES ME FEEL WORTHLESS
ahaha
just cause noone talks. it's rubbish.
myspace overtook you so long ago and even it's pretty poor!

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 21:20:16 GMT

though i'm constantly tired at the moment i'm generally content. i have eight more exams to go before the end of it all, and they're all in a short space of time. i cannot wait for the feeling of relief when it's all over. the summer ahead of me to enjoy with no commitments. i have ibiza to look forward to, along with reading festival and finally i'll be 18. all of these promise to be some of the best times of my life so far (i hope) and i await with anticipation!

today i had a three hour english literature exam which went reasonably i think, the bulk of exams start next monday though and i need to figure out a way to revise effectively for each of them. i have done no work throughout a level and have quite a number of topics to teach myself by next week. my slightly more positive frame of mind at the moment means i actually care, and so am revising, which i did not think would happen. tom has been a good influence on me!

i got an offer from leeds, but it's at bretton and i need ABB, something that would be acheivable had i not fucked myself over with putting no effort in to my coursework thus getting low grades. bretton is far from the city of leeds and i'm pretty sure if i went there i'd need a car. ahh i don't know anymore. university has always been a desire and certainty of my life but i just want a certain place at the moment. i don't like not knowing. it will soon be over though and i'm not going to let it get to me all summer. things will work out how they are meant to, and if not i really only have myself to blame.

the internet bores me these days. i want to be out seeing people and doing things. though i haven't seen some of my friends, mainly jack and jade, for a long long time, i have been seeing more of my local lovelies which is always nice. my parents went to france for a week over half term, and that was quite fun having people over to stay for drunken nights, or films and food. i look forward to more of the same in the summer!

Sun, 21 May 2006 19:29:31 GMT

really mixed feelings at the moment! frustrated yet happy yet unfulfilled and it switches from each to another pretty quickly. i am tired i think, and have not totally got to grips with the fact that i never have to go to school again, i think maybe the impact of that won't hit me until after the exams are over. i cannot stand exams, sigh, but this is the means to an end and it will soon be over. then i have months of fun to look forward to! i have a lot of people that i need to spend a lot of time with before uni, and i need to start now.